I want to feel awful that I haven't posted on here, haven't even tried. But the problem is I don't. It's like any other thing I say I love, anything else I attempt. I usually give up and, unfortunately, it's classic Psych 101 as to my reason.
If I don't try, I can't fail.
If I don't try, no one can ever tell me I'm not good enough.
I went to an audition this week for a very popular music TV show that airs near Christmas. I didn't get picked (TV producers, *sticks tongue out*) but I was so pleased I tried. For once, I actually tried.
But then I got to thinking.
- I picked an obscure song.
- I didn't have on an ounce of make up, or do my hair.
- I wore my work jeans and trainers (which are not exactly flattering or fashionable).
It makes me wonder whether I subconsciously sabotaged myself; I knew I wouldn't get picked, so I picked a bunch of other things I could blame it on when it didn't happen.
Urgh. Sometimes I hate psychology.
Until next time.
